The End Of Myself

I have just been through the hardest dying, flesh-crucifying, dark tomb experience in my entire life. I won't go into the details, but I had to die to a life long dream I have had since child-hood. Things where moving at full speed and all of a sudden everything was taken away. I'm not saying I didn't make mistakes. God knows that's true, but I truly thought this was God... and now that I have been through this incredibly painful process of dying to everything I held dear, I am realizing now that it was God. Everything is occurring just as planned by the all-knowing, all-loving Creator.

He has brought me back to the beginning of myself. This situation in my life has caused me to face myself and some life-long behavioral patterns. God has revealed to me why I've done things the way I have and felt things the way I have. He took me all the way back to the womb and began to speak to me concerning some major lies I have unknowingly believed. He is now revealing to me who He says I am and showing me my true identity.

I knew a lot of this in my head, but He is doing a new heart level thing with me now, and I really like it. I knew Him before, but I feel as though I am getting to know Him so much more now. He is becoming even more real to me.. so much more real. He is more real than this physical, material reality around us. I am experiencing that day by day and it is glorious. I feel as though I am becoming more and more alive.

Another thing I feel I have gained through all of this is real hope. I actually feel like I know what hope really means now. When, through a death experience, you choose to surrender your own will to the Father, He takes your will, your very soul as an offering. But He doesn't leave you empty. He replaces it with His will, with His life and with His love. On the other side we then have more of His divine nature then we did before. We have true joy and peace and hope. We are reborn into a new awareness of God and of His love. When we truly come to the end of ourselves, realize the emptiness of our own heart, and choose to die and surrender our will to His... we will find Him in the deep darkness of our souls and He will meet us there and give us life. True and lasting life. If we will pursue Him in the quiet stillness of our hearts, the journey He will take us on, the revelations of Himself He will give us, the profound, inexhaustible love we will know will be nothing but incomparable, inexpressible, incomparable, unexplainable, and matchless... because no words can describe what God will do in the inner chambers of our souls as He more than matches our self-sacrifice and longing for the Divine with His glorious, indwelling love that will lead to complete and total union and oneness with our Creator Himself.

Corey Johnson - Music, Sound & Video Production
Oracle Flame Studios & Breakthrough Media
Send An Email